THESEUS: Gather around! Give me your ear. And I’ll tell you a story So bloody and gory, You won’t fall asleep for days! (At least, not in your bed . . .) I was traveling down the road to Athens. The trip had already been horribly long And my feet were beginning to hurt From the rocks and the gravel. I was hoping to finally get to Athens. But sadly, the sun was beginning to set And the forest was getting too dark For a person to travel. But just around the bend I met a man, And he said, “Hello!” “My name is Procrustes! (And you look tired!) Do you need a place to stay? “I have a room! Kick off your shoes! We’ll share a meal! We’ll have some booze! But best of all . . . “I have a wonderful, Comf’table, Marvelous, Glorious Bed! And you . . . . . . will fit perfectly in it!” Now, while I had been on the road to Athens, I had the good fortune of meeting a girl Who had told me she thought I’d do well To have some kind of warning. She had told me that on the road to Athens, There lived in a house a peculiar old man Who would welcome in guests, But they never survived until morning. For when they went to lay down in his bed . . . The cuffs clicked And the trap snapped shut, Pinning them in bed While the ropes stretched And the chains pulled taut, Stretching out their limbs. Then Procrustes would enter And walk to the pulleys And pull . . . And tendons would snap While the guests lay there screaming And writhing in pain While their cartilage tore! But not just content To pull limbs from their sockets, Procrustes did more . . . With a hammer, He pounded their limbs And he shattered their bones And he flattened their flesh ‘Til the bed fin’lly fit! But I knew that that wouldn’t be me, For you see, I was tall . . . And Procrustes had two beds. And one was smaller. So when taller guests lay down . . . And the cuffs clicked And the trap snapped shut, Pinning them in bed, And the ropes stretched And the chains pulled taut, Stretching out their limbs. Then Procrustes would enter Dramatic’lly drawing his sword . . . And he’d chop off their toes And he’d hack off their fingers And saw off their feet Which would fall to the floor! And while spurts of blood arced From the stubs of their ankles, Procrustes did more . . . With a hatchet, He severed their limbs And he splintered their bones And he sliced off their flesh ‘Til the bed fin’lly fit! But I knew that that wouldn’t be me, For you see, I’d been warned . . . So I did it to him!

A B C D R F G, H I J K L M N O P. Q R S, T U V, W X Y and Z Now I’ve sung my A-B-C’s Next time won’t you sing with me? Sigh. Anyone can sing the alphabet forwards, That’s the way we all learned when we were small. But I’m gonna sing the alphabet backwards Show off to everybody and have me a ball. Z Y X, W V U T S R Q, P O N! M L K, J I H G F E D , C B and A! Anyone can sing the alphabet forwards That’s the way we’ve done it since we were kids But I like to sing the alphabet backwards So that all my friends say “Look what you did!” Z Y X, W V U T S R Q, P O N! M L K, J I H G F E D , C B and A! (spoken) Everybody! Z Y X, W V U T S R Q, P O N! M L K, J I H G F E D , C B and A!

Heard a busker down on Market Street He was playing in the middle of a crowd And his, voice like a fountain of sweetness, came pouring down The audience uncrumpled their ones and fives Tossed them in his case and they applauded But his song was so much better than mine That I held on tightly to my dollar And I'm not proud of the pleasure I take when the famous fall and the beautiful break I'm hoping talent is a function of time They say you must be patient when you're starting And though I sit and sweat over the rhythm and the rhyming Sometimes I get disheartened And I'm not proud of the pleasure I take when the famous fall and the beautiful Break me from the trance of my daily thoughts The litany of qualities that I am not The promise of enlightenment keeps teasing me Like a wounded bird Leading me on and on Went looking for that busker just the other day Had my wallet at the ready Planned to make amends for what I had not paid In my hand I held a twenty As you might expect, we never met again Maybe karma wouldn't let us So I went home and fretted out these chords Said this song would be my penance And I'm not proud of the pleasure I take when the famous fall and the beautiful break No, I'm not proud of the pleasure I take when the famous fall and the beautiful break

Player: The board games are out, the markers and paints The buildings, cars and animals, too I've run outta room, so off I will go To someplace where there's more I can do Worker: Just wait, not so fast, we've got to clean up Player: Not now, I'm in the mood to keep playin' Worker: That's always your mood, to put the work off Player: You know I just don't care what you're sayin' Player: Don't do it Worker: When do I get my turn? Player: Don't do it Worker: When will we ever learn? Too many people don't clean up after themselves Don't want to be afraid of our closets and shelves Worker: Just do it Player: Worried 'bout what gets done Worker: Just do it Player: I'd much rather have fun Both: There's something that I really wanna do, so let's just hop to it Please Player: Don't Worker: Just Both: Do it Worker: When we leave a mess, bad things can occur A trip could mean a hospital stay And even if not, it might break our stuff Thus leaving us with nothing to play Player: You worry too much, you just need a rest Worker: From what, when you just string me along? Player: I've got just the thing, now, where did it go? Worker: If we'd cleaned up, it wouldn't be gone! Worker: Don't do it Player: Worried 'bout what gets done Worker: Don't do it Player: I'd much rather have fun Too many people living too bored and too sad Don't wanna be like them, I just wanna be glad Player: Just do it Worker: When do I get my turn? Player: Just do it Worker: When will we ever learn? Both: There's something that I really wanna do, so let's just hop to it Please Worker: Don't Player: Just Both: Do it Both: I want one thing, you want another But perhaps we two can find common ground What if both things could help each other? Could some sugar help the medicine go down? Player: Hey, board game, watch out, right there in your box Worker: A black hole sucks your pieces right in Player: And here's a T-Rex who eats art supplies Worker: And looks just like an art supply bin Player: There's still so much left, all over the place As if hit by ten meteorites Work: Well, lucky for us, Space Rescue Team's here Heroically setting all back to rights Both: Let's duet Worker: We'll get everything done Both: Let's duet Player: While we have lots of fun Both: The puzzle's now complete where before there were pieces Like peanut butter and chocolate makin' a Reese's Both: Let's duet Player: We can both share a turn Both: Let's duet Worker: That's the best thing to learn Both: There's something that we really wanna do so let's just hop to it Player: Sure Worker: Yes Both: Let's duet

I want a room where Nobody will find me Where I can read my Books and write my dreams And when I cry there Nobody will hear I've been Penning novels longer than you've lived But the notes you write Echo through my Empty life And they haunt my nights So if you're listening I ask you grant an old man peace In my room I Think my thoughts in secret Here I'm safe from All the noise outside But I still hear the Guns and muffled cries And they haunt my nights I burned my wicked boots that Marched on Homes and kicked in hidden doors to rooms With hidden girls like you I've done Good and bad in life like everyone But the guilty heart Echoes through myself alone For the souls I've wronged My wretched past will be A warning light to those who see I'll write a book with Every little detail With all the pain and Evil I have seen So when you read it You might learn from me

I am just a simple whale I sing my way across the ocean But when Jonah’s ship set sail An age old plan was put in motion I was appointed on the day that I was born I won’t spite the hand that feeds me He doesn’t ask too often and He doesn’t ask too much I will do as my Lord needs me When they threw Jonah to the waves I was waiting there to catch him That bellyacher banged my belly for three days It was worse than indigestion I was appointed on the day that I was born I won’t spite the hand that feeds me He doesn’t ask too often and He doesn’t ask too much I will do as my Lord needs me Then the man inside made peace The struggle in my gut was over I heaved him out upon the beach Turned to face the deep and dove there I was appointed on the day that I was born I won’t spite the hand that feeds me He doesn’t ask too often and He doesn’t ask too much I will do as my Lord needs me I was appointed on the day that I was born I won’t spite the hand that feeds me He doesn’t ask too often and He doesn’t ask too much I will do as my Lord needs me I am just a simple whale I sing my way across the ocean

I see you movin' hesitatin' Almost dancin' in the kitchen You're feeling lonely, only wishin' That your felt that elation That your feet would remember that sensation Of being on the dance floor I know what you've gotta do Our bodies know what we need So let your pulse quicken and listen There's no language for the way it feels But your body speaks and makes it real This is what we dance for This is what we dance for Our bodies know what we need So we listen when they tell us To move, to move, to move You've gotta dance like you've got something to prove This is what we dance for It's gotta be what you've gotta do So call me, baby, call me And I'll move, to move to you I'll rescue you I'll take you to the club You've got your hands in the air Just like you're reaching for something That's almost there but you're not quite sure If you know where to go, take it slow Let me show you how not to hurry, don't worry Baby, we'll dance more We've got all night so we can take our time 'Till we get it right; I can Wait 'till the DJ plays a slow jam You won't quite invite me home, but it's alright This is what we dance for This is what we dance for I'll take you to the club, show me what you love And I'll move to you I'll move to you I'll sing a tune I'll dance with you This is what we dance for To move, to move, to move

Thank you for loving me, though I'm slower than I used to be I'll still get up to see you when you get home I'll do my best not to jump on you, though that's what I'm inclined to do Won't you please throw this doggie a bone I swear I didn't make this mess but you won't believe me, that's my guess I'm glad you've always been the forgiving kind Of all the people you could be, I'm sure happy you chose me And of all the people in the world, I'm glad you're mine And I will stay by your side till I can't no more It's the least that I can do, I mean, it's what I live for Someday I'll fade away, but I'll stay with you till my dyin day Just let me rest my head upon your knee And someday when my spot on the couch is bare, I know that you'll still see me there But deep in your heart is where I'll be

Waiting, always waiting, for your footsteps, with a wonder Inside is warm, but cold air calms, breathing winter installs images Late you call to me, tonight can you listen? Loving the dress you shape, yoke dancing touching lips You smile as we pull apart, parting with a sweet yearning Only wonder, almost mouthing, hope my angel won't object Under starlit canvas my tongue so thick, missing courage, still unsure Missy, take my arm, let's walk, leave all misery tonight, maybe Are you feeling this flame you awoke Rising from my heart, love, hold me forever, reviver Risk your life on a clown, an ocean light yellow rushes You make the sun rise, sail the moon's yacht Missy, you are so beautiful, still awaiting your move Evening comes softly in silky chocolate eyes