You never had to write
that bone dry goodbye letter.
You probably are right, it’s black and white.
But I don’t know why, and I just don’t know no better.

I admit I crave the
Sweet underage labia
For which I’ll pop the blue pills for my penis.
But I guess that all my riches
Can’t contain you bitches
Or erase the sixty years between us.

Honey please don’t go.
Bunny please don’t go.

We met on Halloween.
You were a slutty cop.
Met again on New Years Eve.
We kissed when my balls dropped.
I put you in my ‘zine:
“Co-Ed of the Week”
But a staple in your navel
Is what you seeked.
The cover, then TV:
"The Hills" and "Girls Next Door".
You dropped your first CD
And then you dropped me, whore.
I had proposed and you said
That we would happily wed,
But you ran away instead.
Too bad 'cause I'm almost dead.

I cannot imagine
You leaving Playboy Mansion
A week before the knot was to be tied.
I wonder if the million
Girls here with Brazilians
Can help me forgot you, my runaway bride.

Honey please don’t go.
(tweet: keep the ring)
Bunny please don’t go.
(hash tag: #and the herpes)