You look like Carrot Top
Mixed with the wicked witch from The Wizard of Oz
I walk down the dark staircase
And you’re always there to catch me in your devilish embrace
As you look at me through your Groucho Marx glasses
I think of how you’ve been around the world, tickling the masses
Wearing a knit beret and completely dressed in black
How can someone meant to make me happy make me so sad?

You’re making me laugh
You’re making me cry
You’re such a funny guy

You take me to the dollar store and purchase a potato gun
And say kid, we’re gonna have some fun
I try to run away, through the parking lot
And the exhaust fumes hit me, but so does your starchy potato shot
I fall to my knees on the cold, icy pavement
You cackle your cackle, my pain’s your entertainment
You cage me in your buick hearse
And I don’t see how this could get any worse and then you take out a Furby

You’re making me laugh
You’re making me cry
You’re such a funny guy
You’re making me laugh
But I don’t know why
When all I want to do is cry

This one’s to all the kids out there
There’s a chilling reason as to why I’m so damn scared
He’ll make you laugh so hard, until you’re out of breath
But he won’t just stop there; he’ll tickle you to death

You’re making me laugh
You’re making me cry
You’re such a funny guy
You’re making me laugh
But I don’t see
Anything that’s funny to me