Oh I'm the man who shovels the shite
Behind William Wallace's horse
And naeb'dy asks me. "How'd ye do?"
And naebody asks the horse (of course)

But its a life I would'nae change
I fairly do endorse...
To be the man who shovels the shite
Behind William Wallace's horse

And I'm the man who shovels the shite
Behind William Wallace's horse
And you may think it's a helluva joab
But trust me- there are worse (Nah!)
Cos tho' I married fower maids
I got oot through divorce!
(Thanks tae) bein' the man
Who shovel's the shite
Behind William Wallace's horse!

Now Edward tried tae take us doon
But Scotland wadnae hae it! (Nah!)
We aw declared our liberty!
And proudly we did say it (Aye!)
When Wallace went tae Stirling bridge
In English blood he sprayed it!
And kept us free
My shovel and me
Tae follow ahent his horse!

For I'm the man who shovels the shite
Behind William Wallace's horse
We chased them english bastards
Through the broom and through the gorse
But Falkirk saw the nobles turn
And Wallce was ta'en off...
No more the man who shovels the shite
Behind William Wallace's horse

Now Bruce saw me disconsolate
When Wallace was Betrayed (Betrayed!)
And took me far aff tae the side
And unto me he sayed (He sayed!)
"I ken they cut oot aw his guts
His airms and legs and heid
So how'd you like
Tae shovel the shite
Ahent MY horse instead?"

(So) now I'm the man
Who shovels the shite
Behind The Bruce's horse!
And nobles nivir notice ye
Engaged in their discourse
The things ye'd hear
They things ye'd see
Wa'd mak ye keech yir shorts!
Were you the man who shovelled the shite
Behind Bruce's horse

So in my mind I found a plan
An' dare I say, t'was brammel!
And o'er the border we baith went
Mah shovel aye liked tae travel!
And I got a joab that naebuddy'd waant
Wi' nary a smidge o trubble
'Cos shovellin shite's
No popular like
Amongst the english rabble

So now I'm the man
Who shovels the shite
Behind King Edwards horse!
And aw his fowk ignored the man
That shovelled up the lumps
The things ah heard them talk aboot
Wa'd failry mak ye jump!
When I was the man who shovelled the shite
Behind King Edwards horse

So back tae Bruce I hauled awa
And telt him in quick stock
O' Edward's plans, and Edward's men
And Bruce, in glee did rock
(He Said) "I'll tell ye this, at Bannockburn
They'll aw' get a helluva shock!
'Cos you took the joab
O' shovelling shite
Behind King Edward's horse!"

At dawn King Edwards armies came
And we went oot tae meet it
The Bruce he drove them aff oor lands
And Edward had tae beat it!
But thats the thing 'boot common fowk
We ken shite when we see it!
And we saw it run
At banockburn
Frae english arses drappit!

And I'm the man who shovels the shite
But only frae MY horse!
The Bruce he fine rewarded me
For turning the battles's course
I got some land!
I got some coos!
I some cash of course!
I'm still the man who shovels the shite
But jist for my ain horse!

Oh I'm still the man
Who shovels the shite
But jist
For
My
Ain
Hooooooorse!