I am in the third grade
At Saint Theresa's school
Learning about reading, writing
And the golden rule

Sister Mary Agnes
Her ruler in her hand
Comes right over to my desk
And orders me to stand

All eyes are upon me
The whole class is transfixed
Even that guy hanging up there
On the crucifix

Sister Mary Agnes
Locks me in her steely gaze
And asks if anybody knows
What happened to my clothes

It isn't cool
To be naked at school
Im glad that this is just a dream

If you ask Doctor Freud
He might say I'm paranoid
'Cause I fell like everybody's watching me

I'm sure that public nudity
Must be a mortal sin
But if you're only dreaming
Does it leave a stain within

I'm so very worried
About making a mistake
Time in purgatory
Is something I can't take

So I resolve that I must cleanse
This black spot from my soul
And hurry off to get in line
For the confessional

I blurt out my guilt
While Father's sliding back the shade
I realy must confess
I'm ashamed to be undressed

And he says
It isn't cool
To be naked at school
For pennance you must say your rosary

As you head out the door
Go in peace and sin no more
That's the only way you'll be redeemed

It isn't cool
To be naked at school
On that subject we can all agree

If you ask Doctor Freud
He might say I'm paranoid
'Cause I feel like everybody's watching me
Hanging out for all the world to see