lyrics
We’ve been best of friends since 1969
We’ve had our differences throughout the years
Our relationship’s been in a slow decline
Lately suspicion constantly interferes
It started when I found a ticket to Dallas
Dated November, 1963
And all the photos he took of the palace
When he met Ayatollah Khomeini
It was odd when he went dancin’ with Mary, Squeaky, and Manson
Cos those hippy friends of his were not all there
Grover kept sayin’ “I told ya” when he came back from Cambodia
Praising Pol Pot’s work in the Red Khmers
So although it’s way too hard to say goodbye
I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy
Now Prairie Dawn and Count keep pushin’ me to skip town
Before I end up taking blame for his mess
Like O.J. and the Ramseys lives were turned upside-down
Because my oval-headed friend won’t confess
He sent out packages that all seemed to tick
While he rambled against technology
He exclaimed, “Why can’t we all just collect paperclips?!”
And he put the blame on Ted Kaczynski
Befriended hooded guys on horses carrying nooses and torches
Visited the night the first Gordon fled
After the Embassy was bombed, he left Nairobi with Saddam
And dropped off fireworks boxes in Enschede
And although it’s way too hard to say goodbye
I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy
And there’s no reason to ask him to clarify
I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy
So, he sold Jim Jones the cyanide
He used to spike the punch for Revolutionary Suicide
Coincidence that this coincides
In ‘82, when Bert gave Mr. Hooper Tylenol the day that he died
It’s gotta be here in my imagination
There’s no way he could be this evil...
He got his pilot’s license in 2001
I got a call from him one Tuesday mornin’
He told me, “Say goodbye to Big Bird, Oscar, everyone”
I thought his flight was comin’ home from Boston... ... ... ...
So although it’s way too hard to say goodbye
I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy
No matter what I think, I’ll never testify
I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy
So although it’s way too hard to say goodbye
I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy
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