Chester Allan Arthur was a kamikazee communist
who flew his helicopter into China's target flag.
He won the Karl Marxmanship award for his sideburns
but he doesn't like to brag

'Cause Franklin Lincoln told him if you
cut down that cherry tree,
you should never tell a lie.
Unless you've been sippin' on some cotton gin
from the South's big fields of rye.

I remember history
like I recall Sicily
It's got a leaning monument
to the inventor of the pork rotisserie

No, nothing's gotten cloudy in my mind
And I'ma stick to the facts, you'll find
You gotta keep up or stay behind
because you know I'm not gonna rewind.

Easter island dino eggs
were all dug to make some room
for plastic Aztec pyramids,
with mustolids in the mummy's tomb

ever since St. Patrick came
to make the Irish ferrets tame
Egypt never was the same
now Istanbul has been the name

Can't stand that nobel laureate
Constantinople story yet
Cause they haven't found their glory at
the Texas territory, that

may be the best excuse for why
they can't recall their alibi
when remembering the Alamo
or the alimony owed

I know all the science cause
it proves that there were giants
they all lived inside the Vatican
till L. Ron got all fat again

and led a great defiance
to wrangle up some clients
to sell his Hubbard telescopes
to Capricorns and billy goats

Chemistry is easy
if you're part of the protists family
E=MC3
but only for the mass of manatees

the elements are relevant
to platinum plated pelicans
who measure moles of kilodirts
in a black hole donut hole of hertz

The truth hertz, don't it?

I'm a pro at chemistry
like Einstein was at dentistry
He's famous for his fairy wings
and for pulling teeth by tying floss to string theory

No, nothing's gotten cloudy in my mind
And I'ma stick to the facts, you'll find
You gotta keep up or stay behind
because you know I'm not gonna rewind.

The ancient Chinese dynasties
went south to the icy tropics
there they found no privacy
from lifeforms microscopic

Organisms can organize in single file lines
But only when a total of a single planet aligns
Every mitochondria can be a hypochondriac
if it makes all of its energy for no one but insomniacs

Organisms can organize in single file lines
But only when a total of a single planet aligns
Every mitochondria can be a hypochondriac
if it all makes energy for no one but insomniacs

I remember history
like I recall Sicily
It's got a leaning monument
to the inventor of the pork rotisserie

No, nothing's gotten cloudy in my mind
And I'ma stick to the facts, you'll find
You gotta keep up or stay behind
because you know I'm not gonna rewind.