If you think I don't have convictions
It's just 'cause I haven't been caught
We all need to think for ourselves
Or at least that's what I've been taught

So I'm finally going to say my piece
And maybe overcompensate
Mouthing off about what you don't know
Is what makes this country great

So eat the whales and free the nukes
Sell global warming to the seals
School vouchers for the spotted owls
Give this ship of fools some training wheels

Eliminate the upper class
Along with the lower and middle
Let's start a fire like Nero did
And I'll go get my fiddle

Everyone has a point of view
Or maybe it's just a grudge
We all need to open our minds
And on this point I won't budge

Let's bring clarity to those
Whose brains are in a fog
They say that those who can't do, teach
And those who can't write, blog

Sorry to politicize
All the things that you hold dear
I just want to cloud the issues
Let me make it perfectly clear

I'm not purely serious
But it's not really funny
And if you won't lend me your ears
I'll gladly take your money