I’m Q*bert babe, I’ll fall for you
And you will fall for me, too
Let’s meet at the arcade down by the mall
I’ll be the one rockin’ colorful balls

I’ve got five, mmm, five megahertz of pure
Computer generated fantasy, girl
Try me once, ooh yeah, let’s start
I’ll take your quarters, then I’ll steal your heart

Now, I do not run around like Pac Man
I live on the edge of outer space
My pyramid schemes bring you back again yeah
Just jump right in to our special place …

Yeah yeah yeah!

At first you’re amused by my demise
But soon You’ll be haunted and then - surprise!
You relate to my terror as if its your own
That’s when I own you like a dog owns a bone

I’m Q*bert babe, you’ll fall for me
Just like my nemesis - Coily
So finish up that slice of pizza
I’ll school you in the ways of Nietzsche

Q*bert babe
Not Shoe*bert babe
I'm Q*bert babe
Q*bert babe