Bram Tant - Kebab Shop

from by Various Artists

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lyrics

Hello there would you like kebab
We have one of every kind
Chicken pork beef goat you name it
Pick whichever one you like
What sauce do you want with that
Garlic andalouse curry ketchup
Which vegetables I put on it
Salad tomato onions peppers
Would you like some fries with that
Small medium large extra large
Do you want any toppings
Salt mayonnaise ketchup mustard
Okay just a minute
Or wait make that ten
Here you go, enjoy your meal
Actually I can't guarantee you will
Actually I can guarantee you won't
You see, I haven't been very hygienic
I didn't wash my hands or clean the kitchen
And the meat wasn't properly roasted
So it's likely you'll get food poisoning
It seems my plans to take revenge
For the deaths of my Islamic brethren
Will be completed soon
Praise Allah
Once every foolish American in this city
Has come to grab a snack in my shop
When they eat their not-so-delicious kebab
And go home in the dead of night
Me and my children follow them
And when they have become ill
We break in, murder and rob them
And you'll be sorry to hear that you're next
You could have easily avoided this mess
If you had read my nametag before ordering
It reads "Turkish Kebab Strangler"
Seems quite obvious to me
You idiotic American
Now scram, get out of here
Before I call the cops on you
And don't think they'll believe a word you say
Because nobody ever suspects a kebab shopkeep
Oh, and just one moment before you leave
That'll be 30 dollars please

Allah akhbar!
Allah is great!
Allah akhbar!
Praise Allah!
Allah akhbar!
Allah is great!
Allah akhbar!
Praise Allah!

credits

from SpinTunes #1: Round 1, released June 25, 2010
Bram Tant. Music for the last 35 seconds was a remix of the previous 1 minutes and 25 seconds' music, provided by PC-72.

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