Oh!!
What I’d have done!
What I’d have made!
What I could have written,
Or studied, or learned
If I hadn’t been swayed!
What I could have achieved
With the time that I had
If I never had played!!

My dear wife,
In her hunger to share
All the things in her life
Of which I ought to care,
Went and all but insisted
That I try out this game . . .

And now, after
Twenty-one hundred
And fifty-five levels,
And Heaven knows how many
Weeks of my life,
After racking up boosters
And knocking off levels
While lying there,
Sharing a bed with my wife
With the both of us glued
To our mobile devices,
It’s clear to me now
What the terrible price is,
‘Cause after all this,
I can look at my dear wife and say . . .

There’ll prob’ly be
Fifteen new levels next week . . .

And there’s no sign this ever will end . . .

(And I’m not sure I’d want it to anyway . . .)