Megalodon - My Foolish Mind

from by Various Artists

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So this is a true story. This really happened to me. The moral of the story is that you can't breathe under water. You should tell small children this.

Here's what happened: South Salt Lake circa 1976. I'm pretty sure I was 4 years old. My parents signed me up for swim lessons. This happens at the local High School swimming pool. I have my lesson in the shallow end with the class. Then there was some sort of "free swim" time. I wondered over to the deep end. I went deep under water exploring. I remember that I was naturally holding my breath, it was instinct. My chest started to hurt a bit. It occurred to me that I wasn't breathing. So I over intellectualized the situation. I consciously thought it was a good idea to take a deep breath (idiot). So I took a big deep breath of water. I passed out.
Next thing I remember my dad was all wet. I was coughing up water on the surface near the pool. My dad had been watching from he bleachers, ran down and dove in and pulled me out. The life guard/ head swim instructor ( a guy named Larry Swim , no joke) was hitting my chest to get me to cough up the water. My dad was furious at the program. I remember explaining to my dad my perspective. He said " why didn't they tell you , you can't breath under water!?"
I made it a point to tell both of my kids that they can't breathe under water, they can't fly, and if they're on fire, they need to stop, drop, and roll. I asked my kids about this yesterday. Bella is 10 now " duh, dad. Of course you can't breathe under water. You were kinda dumb." Django is 8 " I remember you telling me that dad, I'm glad you did, because it sure seems like you could breathe under water if you just tried"

lyrics

My first swim lesson was disastrous
When I ventured to the deep end
My instructor neglected to state the obvious

Betrayed by my foolish mind
I took a deep breath of water
And almost died

My chest started to hurt
I yearned for something in my lungs
So I overrode my instinct and took a gulp

Betrayed by my foolish mind
I took a deep breath of water
And almost died

Nobody told me you can't breathe under under water
Nobody told me you cannot breath under any water
x4

(I shouldn't have found out the hard way)
x7

My dad was watching from the bleachers
In this South Salt Lake high school pool
He dove in , pulled me out, still wearing slacks and sneakers

Betrayed by my foolish mind
I took a deep breath of water
And almost died

Betrayed by my foolish mind
I took a deep breath of water
And almost died

credits

from SpinTunes #11: Round 1, released January 26, 2016

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Spintown Middletown, Ohio

I run a songwriting contest called SpinTunes. Most of the material hosted on this account is a result of that contest. You can follow the contest on Twitter (@SpinTunes) or my personal account (@Spintown).

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