Edric Haleen - On The Matter Of Bullying (Part 3)

from by Various Artists

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Oh my god!
When was this?
In the bathtub?!
That’s so sad.
Did you hear?
Was there a note?
Holy fuck.

So he’s dead?!
Why’d he do it?
That’s so awful!
In his house.
What’s his name?!
With a razor.
Did’ja know him?
What a freak.

He seemed sad.
I sat behind him.
He was quiet.
We were neighbors.
He was weird.
He’d been bullied.
Always distant.
What a shame.

I can’t believe it.
No one helped him.
He seemed normal.
He was awkward.
I just saw him.
Fucking bullies.
Now he’s gone . . .


I’m sorry.
I guess I don’t know what to say.
I’m sorry.
I can’t believe you’re really gone.

I know I caused you pain.
I told you you were odd.
I told you you were stupid.
I threatened you at school.
I said I’d beat you up.
I said you had no friends.
I told you you would
Do the world a favor
If you’d . . .

I never thought you’d do it . . .

But now you’re really gone . . .

And ev’rybody hates me.
(Big surprise!)
I see the accusation
In their eyes.
But what I cannot tell the --
The thing they’ll never see --
Is simply that I’m sorry . . .

I wish I wasn’t me . . .

But I have to be strong.
With me in control.
You make your skin thick.
You learn that real quick
When Dad’s on a roll.

‘Cause Mom won’t protect you.
She won’t even try.
And how much you’re hit
Depends quite a bit
On whether you cry.

But fuck! I endure it!
I don’t shy away.
For God knows how long,
I’ve tried to be strong
While Dad wailed away.

And injuries heal,
One way or another.
And welts from your dad
Aren’t nearly as bad
As scorn from your mother.

But who’s there to blame
When you do the same
To your own little brother?

It’s sad, but it’s true.
And now I’ve killed you . . .
So who
Could love me?

You have to be strong
If’ you’re to survive.
If you’d have been stronger,
You might not be happy,
But you’d be alive.

It isn’t your fault.
The blame rests on me.
But all that I’ve done
Is who I must be.
I have to be strong.
I can’t let them see
I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.


from SpinTunes #8: Round 1, released February 11, 2014
The tapestry of voices you hear at the beginning of this song was supplied by many (but nowhere near all!) of Edric's online songwriting friends . . .

Brandi Burns
Ross Durand
Tom Giarrosso
Brian Gray
Caleb Hines
Denise Hudson
Bryce Jensen
Jenny Katz
Dave Leigh
Charlie McCarron
Mark Meritt
Travis Norris
Kevin Savino-Riker
Jules Sherred
Tiffany Edna Thompson




Spintown Middletown, Ohio

I run a songwriting contest called SpinTunes. Most of the material hosted on this account is a result of that contest. You can follow the contest on Twitter (@SpinTunes) or my personal account (@Spintown).

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