If this song makes you feel uncomfortable
Get used to it
Go on and dance
At least you don’t
Have to deal with the crazy shit
Going on every month in our pants

It’s shark week
It’s shark week
The havoc we will wreak
The outcomes are quite bleak
For you
You’ve not a clue
What’s in store for the next two to seven days

It’s shark week
It’s shark week
Tradition clouded in mystique
Our war paint is a streak
Of red
I wish I was dead
But my mental stability
Correlates directly
To the lunar phase

I don’t care if your manliness prevents you from
Fully enjoying this
Neither do we
Jekyll and Hyde the monster that I’ll become
Makes me reminisce
About a time before this came and happened to me
It’s shark week
It’s shark week
The havoc we will wreak
The outcomes are quite bleak
For you
You’ve not a clue
How much I want to stroke you with a knife

It’s shark week
It’s shark week
Tradition clouded in mystique
Our war paint is a streak
Of red
I wish I was dead
I’m completely engulfed
In the pain of being a werewolf
And I’ll be this way for half of my natural life

And I don’t want your pity or your scoffs
I’m too busy with my tampon tampoffs
But I don’t want to be denied entry through the presidential door
And your argument is invalid because most of the women that have run anyways are old enough that they wouldn’t even have it anymore
And even if they do the important thing is what they’re standing for

It’s shark week
It’s shark week
The havoc we will wreak
The outcomes are quite bleak
For you
I want to do
Many terrible things to whomever invented uteri
If only I could

It’s shark week
It’s shark week
Tradition clouded in mystique
Our war paint is a streak
Of red
I wish I was dead
And I want to go swimming
Cause I’m at the beach
But I didn’t of think of that before I came here
And now people are just jumping in but I can’t do that
And there’s no convenient bathrooms
In which I could insert the thing that holds in
All the blood