Jailhouse Payback - The Story Of Xenu And The Revolt In The Stars

from by Various Artists

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about

This song is the very ancient, very important backstory behind Scientology.

lyrics

i was driving down the road and something didnt feel right
like my soul was off, or wound too tight
how was i to know it was a thetan that was bothering me?

usually its money or women or work
or the wrong kinda pills
for the wrong kinda hurt
but this time it was an alien's memory

fate led me to big blue and an auditor named steve
he gave me a test and told me how i should be
and i knew i wanted to be clear

level one and level two led to level 3
and OT 3
and the story of Xenu and the revolt in the stars

you see, xenu was the ruler of the galatic world
much like ours but it had too many men
so xenu froze their souls with alcohol

and he took that lot to Teegeack,
thats what they called earth back then
and he dropped em by volcanoes
and guess what he did next?

hydrogen boms he let em down
blew those thetans all around
but their memories were left floating around in the air

these events are known as incident 2
or the wall of fire to me and you
or the R6 implant to those who wanna know more

electric ribbons were what xenu used
to catch those souls and make em view
a movie in 3D for 36 straight days

so we got xenu to thank for world religion
catholocism
crucifixion
all comin outta that wild cinema ride

but eventually xenu was overthrown
and put in an electric mountain trap
and if that doesnt sound awesome to you?
then brother, i dont know know where you're at...

essentially earth is a planet prison
a pariah to the rest of the stars
i like to think that me and ole' xenu,
we're together behind these celestial bars

so in order to live like old L Ron
youve gotta get these thetans outta your skull
and it only costs about 100 thousand bucks

thats the lesson i learned hard
it takes money to learn and learning to love
and its all tax exempt
because most likely, it. is. true.

credits

from SpinTunes #11: Round 3, released February 23, 2016

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Spintown Middletown, Ohio

I run a songwriting contest called SpinTunes. Most of the material hosted on this account is a result of that contest. You can follow the contest on Twitter (@SpinTunes) or my personal account (@Spintown).

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