First,
Captain Sparklez now that's a pretty unique tag,
But I'm not here to judge if stripping is your bag,
On YouTube you may be a popular juggernaut,
In MCC you're nothing more than an afterthought,
You brag about your ability in parkour,
Meanwhile you're skill is Dwight Schrute level softcore,
You don't even know common terminology,
You owe the whole community an apology,
Moms use your content as babysitters,
From what I've seen I hope they reconsider,
Dropping F Bombs like the US military,
Turning countries of brown folk into cemeteries,
To your weight re-rackers you've been a disgrace,
Is this the Quality content you like to showcase?
Your claim to fame is an annoying internet trend,
Thankfully my time roasting you has come to an end.

Now second,
Team spirit is key if you want to get a win,
But Dream doesn't even wear a team skin,
Speedrunning Minecraft might be his game,
But when playing for money he is way too tame,
Didn't have the guts to put it all on the line,
Turns out 10 million subs can't give you a spine,
I guess it was an entertaining little brawl,
Considering as a kid he played FLAG football,
Explains why Minecon voting had him scared stiff,
He couldn't face an iceologer on a cliff,
When it comes to parkour he must also play it safe,
Cause he's never heard of the 45 degree strafe,
Although he came up with a cool concept with Manhunt,
Without question I say that his skills are a front,
Now he's a member of the Dream Team but he's no Magic,
Please don't blame him if he's not laughing it sounds tragic.

Third,
Technoblade is the biggest disappointment by far,
Selling out & playing for a tool like Keemstar,
Got that Minecraft Monday money & bacon,
Then moves on to farming potatoes...ooo I'm shakin',
I mean you got carried in your Bed Wars streak,
And don't forget about dre, he made you look weak,
Your Hunger Games wins & M C Championships,
Just reminds me that you bought your subs with elbow clips,
I heard you finished 2nd in a big Sky Wars event?
Well done if being 1st loser makes you content,
To me you crashed & burned like your technoplane,
Leaving nothing behind but a digital bloodstain,
Wouldn't call you a legend more like an alpha fail,
But I'm nearly to your last line so I'll have to bail,
Part of my master plan to find that steering wheel,
Beat you over the head until your final squeal.

Smallishbeans dominated LD ShadowLady,
But people will still call him LD ShadowMatie,
Pete Zah Hutt turned some heads with his parkour,
But doesn't have the balls to take on Spinkour,
And if I made the teams I could probably be crowned,
And I'd never be teamed with TheOrionSound,
Now Quig has one of the fastest Bed Wars wins ever,
This is my competition? Yeah, sure, whatever,
I used to watch cubfan when he did snapshot vids,
Now the only thing he gives me is heavy eyelids,
I was told to prepare for some guy called the HBomb,
So I did my homework online at bland.com.
Grian is known for making a lot of sweet ass builds,
Does that mean that I would want him in my guild,
Skeppy didn't even show up but helped his team more,
His game is so lame I just had to use him as my encore,
Let's go.