about
Failing to keep ahead of SpinTunes, I got hit with a challenge to write "a song about someone's first time experiencing something". And of course all I took away from this is "first time", without carefully reading the rest. This song meets the challenge by coincidence, because the first voyage from (southern) Europe to the new world also happened to be Columbus' first time doing so as well.
Why we have a holiday for this dude beats the hell out of me, but it's not like I go to work anyway out of spite.
lyrics
Ferdinand, Isabella I send my thoughts and trust they find you well.
Skirted capture, rigged a sail, broken rudder, what a tale to tell.
Toward the archipelago, ‘til Rodrigo called “land ho”.
My bad, I meant I called “land ho”. Where’s that bonus, bro?
I’m the first one here. No one has sailed across this sound before.
None ever stood atop this mound before, aground a shore so near.
I’m the first one here, manifestation of a grand pogrom,
Destiny watching as I stand upon a land to commandeer.
Kickin’ it as Governor, pick-and-choosing statutory law.
Severed noses and ears today. Tyranny? To that I say “pshaw”.
Here’s a new hit from the quay: transatlantic slavery.
I can totally foresee all the gold for me.
I’m the first one here. No one has sailed across this sound before.
None ever stood atop this mound before, aground a shore so near.
I’m the first one here, manifestation of a grand pogrom,
Destiny watching as I stand upon a land to commandeer.
I am the mutherflippin’ chief guy.
The plot-a-course-around-that-reef guy.
Forget the natives and that Lief guy.
I’m the first one here. No one has sailed across this sound before.
None ever stood atop this mound before, aground a shore so near.
I’m the first one here, manifestation of a grand pogrom,
Destiny watching as I stand upon a land to commandeer.
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