(Verse 1)
I had a dream last night
In which everything wrong in my life went right
And much to my surprise
It was a quick transition
It played out so vividly
That it's hard to describe what it did to me
Suffice to say I took it
As a premonition

(Chorus)
Today's the day I get a move on
Today's the day I change
Today's the day that I improve on
Who I am and everything I do:
Today's the day that I break up with you

(Verse 2)
Just stop and think about
All the times I gave in so that we'd work out
If you look at the score
I think I tip the balance
But you prob'ly think that's great
'Cause you take and you drain and manipulate
I guess every succubus
Is gonna have those talents

(Chorus)
Today's the day that I get angry
Today's the day I fight
Today's the day that I harangue
The telling-off that's way past overdue:
Today's the day that I break up with you

(Bridge)
Don't look at me like that
With your cute pouting lips and your big, sad eyes
You're pretty, but you're pretty much a bitch

(Verse 3)
It's time for you to see
That the world is the world universally
And nowhere does it say
That you can run my planet
So you take our history
And your need for control and co-misery
And brace yourself real good
Then go ahead and cram it

(Chorus)
Today's the day that I'm the victor
Today's the day I win
Today's the day I do your sister
Here's a toast to starting life anew:
Today's the day that I wake up
It's time to say I've had enough
Today's the day that I break up with you