7 AM he turns on CNN
Dabs a little Old Spice on that Chevy Chase chin
He looks at the sheets where his trophy wife lay sleeping

He is frowning in the mirror at his Samuel Adams belly
Looks at her again and wonders does she really want me?
Oh other men would kill to have her
Oh other men would kill to have her

He works in a 3x5 at customer service
He keeps her picture on his desk
Every day a man comes by and says "how'd you get that honey?"
"You must make a lot of money"
Yea you must make a lot of money

Yeah he knows that she has got it goin' on
Everybody is waitin' for her to come home
Yeah he knows that she has got it goin' on
Every man young and old is goin' on about Stacy's mom
Well I don't know bout you but I feel bad for Stacy's dad

Every day is pretty much the same
Everywhere they go everybody knows her name
Boys around the pool say they're hanging out with Stacy
But he knows when honey's home all the boys will soon be aching
So he sends them all home
He has to send them all home

Yeah he knows that she has got it goin' on
Everybody is waitin' for her to come home
Yeah he knows that she has got it goin' on
Every man young and old wants her really bad
Well I don't know bout you but I feel bad for Stacy's dad

Stacy cries "Daddy, all the boys are leaving me!"
"What is it with me? Don't they think I'm pretty as can be?"
He rolls his eyes cuz he knows why
This happens every time

Yeah he knows that she has got it goin' on
Everybody is waitin' for her to come home
Yeah he knows that she has got it goin' on
Every man young and old is goin' on about Stacy's mom
Well I don't know bout you but I feel bad for Stacy's dad