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SpinTunes #6: Round 1

by Various Artists

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1.
You find a funny picture Of a girl who you don’t know. You Photoshop the background Or add captions down below. You post it on the Internet For ev’ryone to see. You’re looking at my face -- But you never think of me . . . Can you remember five? When you were very small? Your room was full of toys. You hadn’t started school. Your family was all the world you knew... Can you remember five? ‘Cause it’s the oddest thing -- I can’t remember five. My memories are fading, And all that helps remind me Are the moments someone captured In a picture . . . Do you remember nine? When you were growing up? When you were getting tall? Exploring on your bike. Athletics after school. Your parents cheering all the things you do... Do you remember nine? ‘Cause it’s the oddest thing -- I do remember nine. ‘Cause that’s the year When I became a meme. And when you’re nine, You like the attention. But when you’re nine, You don’t understand. At nine, you lack perspective. You simply think it’s funny. And bombs are just in movies. And Hitler’s just a name . . . Do you remember twelve? About to turn thirteen? When things began to change? Your world began to sprawl? You fight with Mom and Dad. You cope with jerks at school You re-examine all the things you knew... Do you remember twelve? ‘Cause it’s the oddest thing -- I do remember twelve. I’m living through it now. And if that weren’t enough -- I know I’m still a meme! So what if I tire of being a meme? What if I tire of teasing at school? What if I tire of seeing my face Next to pictures of Nazis And bombs and catastrophes? What if I hate all the cruel innuendo? What if I think that the punchlines aren’t funny? What if “Disaster Girl” Tires of being Disaster Girl? You post me on the Internet For ev’ryone to see. The sentiments are yours, But you attribute them to me. And I cannot disown them, Or at least, I don’t know how. If you were in the seventh grade, What would you do now?
2.
I wanted to take a trip to the Arabian Peninsula That's the Middle East for those of you who aren't into the Geographical locations of Central Asia But then my travel agent then told me something major He said recently that there's a strange demand To take vacations to the resorts in a strange new land I thought the dude was jokin' and was playin', man And then he told me the place was called Plankistan I said, thank you man. And made my reservations Hoping this new land would exceed my expectations Of having a good time in a place that was distant Little did I know that I'd amazed by it's existence The moment I arrived the clock struck 12 And it looked like people were making a fool out themselves And that's when I realized this was a strange little place Cause everybody stopped just to lay on their face Everywhere I go Everybody's laying on their face fo' sho I see them planking (down in Plankistan) I see them planking (down in Plankistan) From resort hotel rooms All the way to the desert sand dunes I see them planking (down in Plankistan) I see them planking (down in Plankistan) It appeared to me everyone near to me Synchronized planks at the same time eerily Then somebody whispered "Hey, you! You seem dumb! Hurry and plank now before the police come!" But it was too late. These policemen were mad buff Three big dudes approaching me with handcuffs They arrested me quick once I put my hands up And took me to straight to their boss who they said ran stuff The boss asked if I knew the local laws I told him I didn't know and that I was appalled That everyone lays on the ground in that strange fashion He told me from now on to the take the same action Cause if I got caught again breakin' the law That they'd be breakin' my jaw and castratin' my balls So when they let me go and the clock struck three I had to stop walkin' 'round and get down on the street Later that night, I went a club To find a beautiful woman who would give me some love When 9PM rang, everyone planked really hard And I saw the sexiest girl planking on the bar We talked a bit and then I brought my hotel And it was around midnight and I thought "Oh well" We'll be in my room and everything will be private And nobody will see us not planking when the time hits I shoulda known better cause when she was on top And the clock struck 12 she decided to stop And plank on me. So I thought I should remind her That even though she stopped, that I was still inside her I got tired of her planking and pushed her off And she was looking lost and I got angered man I caught the next plane out this strangest land And never again did I visit Plankistan
3.
You use my picture to make your stupid jokes your dime store philosophy while you're going broke We had this all figured out we had this all figured out a hundred million years ago but we still disappeared for all your advances I don't like your chances We were all dinosaurs we knew who we were no veil of delusion no civilzing blur We had this all figured out we had this all figured out a hundred million years ago but we still disappeared for all your advances I don't like your chances You only complicate a very simple plan you kill or you're dying I eat, therefore I am all else is distraction you try to make some sense of the essentially senseless of your own impermanence We had this all figured out we had this all figured out a hundred million years ago but we still disappeared for all your advances I don't like your chances
4.
Another noontime, another key Another place I'm not supposed to be I check the number to confirm I've found the room He comes entangled and so do I There's no excuse so I don't even try I see him silhouetted by the window cross the room boom boom You wouldn't see him and understand He's not a Clooney or a Cary Grant He has nothing of the qualities you might assume Yet real life does not exist for me The only distance is from him to me I estimate it's seven steps across the room till Boom boom goes the dynamite My knees are trembling, my tongue is tied I'm not thinking with my conscious mind I have to hold the doorframe not to swoon Another noontime, another key Another place I'm not supposed to be And then he bends to kiss me where I put on my perfume Boom boom goes the dynamite I feel like Wile E. Coyote trying to catch the bird in every show Laying out the wire and the birdseed But we all know where the bomb will blow It isn't love, we're almost sure What we have is deep but not exactly pure We won't be topping any cake with a mini bride and groom And yet there's something when it's time to go Though neither he nor I would ever let it show that we leave our hearts in pieces scattered round the room Cause boom boom goes the dynamite Boom boom goes the dynamite Boom boom goes the dynamite
5.
I'm not too fond of rainbows I hate poptarts as well Flying through space with a smile on my face But my life is a living hell I've got twenty-seven other original songs I would gladly sing instead But all they wanna hear is that nyan-nyan crap Again and again and again I am a cat, I am a cat But I am so much more than that I have ambition, I have pride I can has feelings just like you I am a cat, I am a cat But I am so much more than that You know memes but You don't know me at all Me at all Me-ow-owww meow meow meow They call me looooooong cat But that's wrong I'm not really aaaaaaaalll that That long. It's been blown way out of proportion Fabrication is all that's left Everyone has seen my length, But no one knows my depth. I am a cat, I am a cat But I am so much more than that I have ambition, I have pride I can has feelings just like you I am a cat, I am a cat But I am so much more than that You know memes but You don't know me at all Me at all Me-ow-owww meow meow meow I didn't write the music I'm not even playing the keys A stupid song and a stupider shirt Well I guess that's my legacy This is not who I am, can't even look at the camera I'm a star and I'm a fraud Shut my eyes through the pain, but at the end of the day There's no one there to play me off I am a cat, I am a cat But I am so much more than that Just cuz I'm feline doesn't mean I don't have Feelings just like you I am a cat, an internet cat, yeah And don't you ever forget that You know memes but you Don't know me You know memes but you Don't know me You know memes but you Don't know me-ow Meowmeow meow
6.
If a clone turns out to be smarter Than the original, do you still call it a clone? If I use a DNA starter To make my only friend, am I still forever alone? The world won't look behind his plumed facade Into the brilliant mind of my favorite theropod. My raptor Descartes and I, We talk all through the night about the then, the now, the why. My raptor Descartes and I, Debating over how to choose the road next traveled by. Descartes and I. Often he can force me to unthink, As he illuminates the questions that I beg. But he is so a slave to his instinct, Deciding whether first to steal the neighbor's chicken or egg. A subtle logic gaffe, a loud guffaw, I laugh and laugh until he brandishes his raptor claw. My raptor Descartes and I, We talk all through the night about the then, the now, the why. My raptor Descartes and I, Debating over how to choose the road next traveled by. Descartes and I. There are times I feel I might lose him To questing after his less-moral relatives. Of all the animemes I would choose him, Despite a grudginess, forgetting much more than he forgives. So I'll just have to trust the fallacy Of paying work with just a BA in Philosophy My raptor Descartes and I, We talk all through the night about the then, the now, the why. My raptor Descartes and I, Debating over how to choose the road next traveled by. Descartes and I. My raptor Descartes and I, We talk all through the night about the truths we all deny. My raptor Descartes and I, Debating over how the arts of Socrates apply. Descartes and I.
7.
We’ve been best of friends since 1969 We’ve had our differences throughout the years Our relationship’s been in a slow decline Lately suspicion constantly interferes It started when I found a ticket to Dallas Dated November, 1963 And all the photos he took of the palace When he met Ayatollah Khomeini It was odd when he went dancin’ with Mary, Squeaky, and Manson Cos those hippy friends of his were not all there Grover kept sayin’ “I told ya” when he came back from Cambodia Praising Pol Pot’s work in the Red Khmers So although it’s way too hard to say goodbye I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy Now Prairie Dawn and Count keep pushin’ me to skip town Before I end up taking blame for his mess Like O.J. and the Ramseys lives were turned upside-down Because my oval-headed friend won’t confess He sent out packages that all seemed to tick While he rambled against technology He exclaimed, “Why can’t we all just collect paperclips?!” And he put the blame on Ted Kaczynski Befriended hooded guys on horses carrying nooses and torches Visited the night the first Gordon fled After the Embassy was bombed, he left Nairobi with Saddam And dropped off fireworks boxes in Enschede And although it’s way too hard to say goodbye I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy And there’s no reason to ask him to clarify I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy So, he sold Jim Jones the cyanide He used to spike the punch for Revolutionary Suicide Coincidence that this coincides In ‘82, when Bert gave Mr. Hooper Tylenol the day that he died It’s gotta be here in my imagination There’s no way he could be this evil... He got his pilot’s license in 2001 I got a call from him one Tuesday mornin’ He told me, “Say goodbye to Big Bird, Oscar, everyone” I thought his flight was comin’ home from Boston... ... ... ... So although it’s way too hard to say goodbye I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy No matter what I think, I’ll never testify I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy So although it’s way too hard to say goodbye I know my buddy, Bert, is not a good guy
8.
The crowd was sitting The stage fright was crippling The stage lights weren't dimming They felt like a thousand suns Out came a question And my thoughts arrested Held in detention I wanted to go home But home is where the beach is Soft sand to greet you No maps no teachers To tell us where to go Electricity humming Isn't she funny Through the tubes running To all homes everywhere Home is where the heat is No lines to lead us Look at all the people No knowing where to go Miss South Carolina learned how mean the world can get when you don't know
9.
Opened up the paper Couldn't believe what it said There won't be no more twinkies Have to eat donuts instead Talkin 'bout hard times These first world problems of mine Running late for work According to my gps clock My starbuck's was closed, I had to drive another block Talkin 'bout hard times These first world problems of mine The restaurants always serve me, too much too eat Then I have to toss the leftovrs at the end of the week Livin in the first world ain't no walk in the park But my mom always said, "Be happy where you are." I need a work out Off to the gym I go But the tv there is always tuned to the wrong show Talkin 'bout hard times These first world problems of mine Been a long day I'll have a glass when I get home All out of Pinot, I'm gonna have to drink merlot Talkin 'bout hard times These first world problems of mine
10.
I now have a little house For me and my little spouse Where we've settled in quite peacefully We're living in Saskatchewan But before I go on Let me tell you how this came to be It all started with One red paperclip And a blogpost that I did Asking for someone to trade with me My aim was trading up To get some better stuff And to get a house eventually A fish pen for a doorknob face A Coleman stove for a generator These were the first trades on my list One red paperclip Got me started on this trip 'Till I finally traded up to this A bar sign and a keg of beer I traded for a snowmobile And then a trip to Yahk in a cargo van A recording contract for some rent Then almost by accident I trader for a super duper Afternoon with Alice Cooper A deal I made with Corbin Bernsen Really filled a hole With a snowglobe for a movie role I finally reached my goal Something's worth is hard to measure One man's trash is another man's treasure That's a point I think should not be missed One red paperclip Sent me on this crazy trip 'Till I finally traded up I could not have made it up 'Till I finally traded up to this
11.
If you had the chance to pass on A message to the world What would you want to say? If you saw a light and you knew The end was drawing near Tell me what would you say? Famous Last Words... Famous Last Words... We can't change the cards that we're dealt But we can decide how to play them We're stuck with the feelings we've felt But we can decide how to say them You've the power to create a brand new world (A Whole New World) Why not make it something grand? (A new fantastic point of view) The good that you do will bring good right back to you (That's Karma!) So why not lend a helping hand? Famous Last Words... If I had just three words to shout I think I'd just shout, "Tell the truth" The brick walls aren't there to keep us out They're there so that we can show proof That we want it And I want it! Don't you want it? You've the power to create a brand new world (A Whole New World) Why not make it something grand? (A new fantastic point of view) The good that you do will bring good right back to you (That's Karma!) So why not lend a helping hand? If you had the chance to forgive Letting by-gones pass you by Why not do it today? The only thing we have is Time And not so much as you'd think As you'll find out someday Famous Last Words... Famous Last Words... Famous Last Words... Famous Last Words...
12.
I got no time for fear and I ain't got no time for guilt I am living in impenetrable walls I built myself I got a house, I got a car, got a beautiful wife I'm the only man I know who's lost at Russian roulette twice So go Let him help you out Take it by the balls It's what he's all about You can't go and ask for something Without even trying to put up a fight And keeping it in your sights You can be a different person Feeling pain, not feeling hurting, guys My canine friend was right I'm a little crazy but that sure don't get me low I've got every other person standing under my shadow I won't worry about the people thinking they can run my life They're the people that I've left behind, it serves those fuckers right So go He'll show you the way Take it by the balls Is what he's trying to say
13.
Valentines Day; Wendy's drive-thru Ordering fries/Frostys for two Like any day, there's no one else here I'll eat it all myself. The sun has her planets The moon moves the sea But I am forever alone because No one, no one is moved by me. I'm always by myself. The sky has the bright stars The clouds bring the rain But I am forever alone because My love only brings me pain.
14.
Sometimes I go out alone on a crisp, cool night To find a beautiful spot under the moonlight I know there’s someone out there I should be thanking But right now it’s about time I did some planking I go out planking every other Saturday night But never before, have I encountered such a sight Right there before me, an angel she must have been Planking straight as a safety pin I’m holding myself up between two posts, Watching you hold yourself up between to posts And wondering what this could mean X2 You’re planking between my heart and my soul The way you hold yourself up is out of control Together we’ll keep planking, higher and higher We’ll plank forever, or just until our ankles get tired I bet you’ve got passion, and some brains up in that head But the way you plank keeps us both stiff and I want you in my bed We gotta get our selves to the top to get down low, It’s a labor of love, what I’m speaking of, Girl it’s all I know We can do it in the bedroom, or across some public stairs We can do it public, or take some pictures, baby, I just don’t care We’ll do it in the morning, do it the daylight, keep it going all night As long as I’m doing both of my loves everything in the world is right I’m holding myself up between two posts, Watching you hold yourself up between to posts And wondering what this could mean X2 You’re planking between my heart and my soul The way you hold yourself up is out of control Together we’ll keep planking, higher and higher We’ll plank forever, or just until our ankles get tired It’s time to break it down (Break) You’re planking between my heart and my soul The way you hold yourself up is out of control Together we’ll keep planking, higher and higher We’ll plank forever, or just until our ankles get tired I’m planking myself between your heart and your soul The way you hold me, girl, up is out of control You’re taking me to new place, darling, higher and higher The way we plank together, it’s like we’re on fire
15.
Don't bend down to tie your shoelace, You might end up falling flat on your face. Don't let her talk to you, In case you say something you don't mean to. (Assuming she listens, anyway.) And she's lookin' at you, and if you look back, She might notice. But if she's lookin' at you, and you don't look back, You'd be so cold. So you look at your shoes and walk on. Don't go S.A.P. on her, now. And she's been giving you signs, But your brain didn't catch up on time. 'cause she offered to buy you coffee, But you said "no thanks, I'm not thirsty." (You didn't realise she was being flirty.) And she's smilin' at you, and if you smile back, She might notice. But if she's smilin' at you, and you don't look back, You'd be so cold. So you look at your shoes and walk on. Don't go S.A.P. on her, now. And you realise she'd been staring, But she thinks you're not caring. And you could give her a sign, But it's too late, you're out of time. (Better luck next time.) And you're smilin' at her, you're smilin' at her, But she won't notice, And you're smilin' at her, you're smilin' at her, But damn, she's so cold. So you can look at your shoes and walk on, Yeah, you can look at your shoes and walk on. Yeah, you can look at your shoes and walk on. Yeah, you can look at your shoes and walk on. Yeah, you can look at your shoes and walk on. Yeah, you can look at your shoes and walk on. Yeah, you can look at your shoes and walk on. Yeah, you can look at your shoes, look at your shoes, look at your shoes and walk on.
16.
I was a jet fighter I was a pilot lighter I was in college when I dropped my favorite one liner: Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom boom boom boom I was a bit brighter As a moonlighter I got jumbled like a...nail biter I played some street figher Then as a kart rider That's where I got my famous one liner, one liner Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom boom boom boom Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom boom boom boom boom boom Dreams can let you down Make you wanna drown Turn you upside down Dreams can let you down But I will stand my ground I will stand my ground Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom boom boom boom Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom goes the dynamite Boom boom boom boom boom boom
17.
Senator Kerry, I have a question, and I have a right to know In 2004 you won the election, but the Right suppressed the vote They rigged machines, shunned communities; GOP stole the show How could you concede? Our democracy was dealt a crazy blow! My candidate betrays me so! But the facts are hazy, though... Like your opposition to George W.; the man should be your foe! And what about his plan to invade Iran? Can you stand to let that go? I can't believe you refuse to impeach him; as a Yalie you should know That it seems like these are the acts of a fellow member of Skull & Bones Oh, thanks for cutting my microphone... I know I'm being kind of an asshole, but I don't really think I'm doing anything wrong Get your hands off me; he isn't answering! People, please, just gaze below His veiled pleasantries to see his secrecy - how he plays the show Now they're arresting me, I didn't do anything! You don't faze me, no... Oh, someone help me please, police brutality! Don't tase me, bro! Oh, ow, ohh Please let me go! Please, let me go! Just let me go! Let me go!
18.
Counting on a ninja for advice Is not a healthy vice He may just slice your head...off. Ninjas are a bit too fond of knives And taking other lives And making sure you're dead Ask a ninja! (ask a ninja!) He may answer you! Ask a ninja! (ask a ninja!) What ninja think and do If he answers, his memes Will haunt you in your dreams And the ninja.... Looks forward to killing you soon! Ninja have a way of keeping still They're very hard to kill You cannot force your will...upon them Ninja keep their footprint very small You can't see them at all Till on their sword you fall Ninja bowlers always make their pin Their balls have so much spin They knock down every lane...at once Ninja barbers get a healthy tip Their fingers never slip Except to cause you pain [Repeat chorus, then meet a violent and unexpected death]
19.
You're really hungry, but you don't wanna cook. You don't like to read, but you can't find the audiobook. You want a drink right now, but the soda's all been shook. (Shaken) It's sad but it's true. First world problems hurt me and you. You've made too much money, now you gotta pay some tax Can't stay unemployed long enough to relax. You need to spend some cash, because you've filled the burlap sacks. It may seem trivial to you, But first world problems are problems, too. Can't pay for the phone. Can't pay for the heat. Gotta choose between paying rent or getting food to eat. It's happening in your neighborhood, maybe even on your street. It's a sad fact but it's true. These kind of problems are first-world problems, too.
20.
Hello my friend have I got something for you Just take a seat because this is gonna make ya spew I can't believe that I'm watching this again But I'm pretty sure watching you watch will make me grin Oh what the shit, shes filling it Up to the brim with poo This has to stop, please no more slop I'm going to vomit on you I don't know how to feel A body fluid brown smoothie meal But I just don't know if its real Why does this exist My stomach is feeling sick What did you show me this for Oh gods shes going back for more Oh what the fuck, is in that cup And what is she gonna do Oh Jesus Christ, I'm terrified And now the other ones drinking it too I don't know how to feel A body fluid brown smoothie meal But I just don't know if its real That's got to smell, I'm going to hell That's some sloppy stinky stew She dropped an ace, right on her face I think its time to stop this view I don't know how to feel A body fluid brown smoothie meal To whom does this type of shit appeal But watching again now I'm sure its real
21.
He’d like to sell you a winnebago But he’s got a dirty mouth Someone must have cut him off On the highway heading south He let it ruin his day and now he’s a meme, He’s on his way to internet celebrity. But man, you really shouldn’t talk that way He’d like to film a short commercial But he can’t quite nail the lines Maybe if he sold more winnebagos He’d be feeling fine But he’s stuck in his rage and now he’s a meme, He’s on his way to internet celebrity. But man, you really shouldn’t talk that way Hey winnebago man I know you’re angry, i understand But i think you got this, man Dont worry now, don’t worry now, don’t worry now There’s nothing else i can say, but now you’re a meme, You’re on your way to internet celebrity. But man, you really shouldn’t talk that way
22.
Miss Carolina, I think that your fine and I Want to see you in my room every night There on FOX News with Brit Hume and Steve Doocy There are so many insights that only you see Miss Carolina, you're not Miss America (no, no, no, no, no) And we know the judges made a big mistake They just couldn't see, past your congeniality To the intellect you are (You're a STAR!) Miss Carolina, you're Miss Information to me (yes, you are) Miss Carolina you're Miss Information to me Gretchen Carlson and Sarah Palin I can't even find them on the map! There's a New Girl on the News And all the other Beauty Queen will cry. (Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi!) Miss Carolina, you're not Miss America (no, no, no, no) And we know the judges made a big mistake They just couldn't see, past your congeniality To the intellect you are (You're a STAR!) Miss Carolina, you're Miss Information to me (yes, you are) Miss Carolina, you're Miss Information to me Miss Carolina, it's not such as China Like the Irag, they don't got good TV A US American, Brave, True and Newsy Smarter by far than Killmeade and Steve Doocy! Miss Carolina, you're not Miss America (no, no, no, no) And we know the judges made a big mistake They just couldn't see, past your congeniality To the intellect you are (You're a STAR!) Miss Carolina, you're Miss Information to me (yes, you are) Miss Carolina, you're Miss Information to me (yes, you are, yes, you are) Miss Carolina you're Miss Information to me
23.
You are reinforcing this behavior She's adding gems to every sweater Attention seeking Born needing Every eye in the room on her Uncomfortable for us Uncomfortable for everyone One to zero She is wearing glasses much to thick The gems on her sweater seem to blink Disco nausea Seizure causin Every hand in the room on her Lifting her onto the stretcher Posing for the picture Two to zero She held the stage with tron guy She sang songs in gold pants The gifts of the modern age Are sometimes hard to understand But you can understand...she's wearing a gem on her sweater
24.
We R not gay: I'm not a fruit Just because I think John Cusack is cute. We R not gay: I work on my truck. It has an engine and a motor and stuff. We R not gay, no! We R not gay: I got in a fight. I'm not really sure, my eyes were closed tight. We R not gay: I don't like to bake. But it's my cockatoo's birthday and he needs a cake. We R not gay, no! Don't U know overgeneralizations aren't fact? We're not gay, not that anything is wrong with that. We R not gay: I don't like pink. It clashes with the red umbrella placed in my drink. We R not gay: I like to camp. Unless it is cold, hot, windy, or damp. We R not gay, no! We R not gay: I don't watch glee. Rachel is annoying and Santana's a bee. We R not gay: I took wood shop. I made a beautiful mahogany stick for my mop. We R not gay, no! Mens choir sing! Don't U know overgeneralizations aren't fact. We're not gay not that anything is wrong with that. We're not gay, we're not gay, we're not gay, no way.
25.
It all started with a red paperclip I took the journey of my life On a quest for another trade I want to trade with you Don't be shy, tell me what you've got I just might wanna make the drive Is it new or is it hand made? Make an offer I can't refuse Don't think I don't have the time To check out what you've got to trade me Right now I wanna make it mine This is my destiny And it's all I can do To make a trade with you Just one red paperclip Whatcha got to trade for it? What do you have to lose? A fish-shaped pen or a trip for two A years free rent in Arizona It all started with a paperclip And nothing else to do This is the story of my life Trading up for happiness It started out as just a joke But now I feel brand new Don't think I don't have the time To check out what you've got to trade me Right now I wanna make it mine This is my destiny And it's all I can do To make a trade with you Just one red paperclip Whatcha got to trade for it? What do you have to lose? What do you have to lose?
26.
In the middle of a concrete forest Sitting out among the chain link trees Mama Panda had a zenned out morning Munching on a bunch of bamboo leaves Mama Panda had imaginations Thinking all about her Panda dreams Never thinking bout the next thing coming From the Baby Panda at her feet She don’t think twice about Her little bundle The coming thunder From baby’s slumber She don’t know what be coming To shake her world Mama Panda sitting in her corner Munching on a bit of pepper cane Then a bit crumb it come asunder Falling to the Baby Panda’s mane Oh wicked fate awaking Her little bundle… She don’t know what be comin She caught in her panda dreams Oh, Mama, ain’t no warning When Baby Panda sneeze… Mama’s peace How fleeting Baby please Show mercy as you sneeze
27.
This song has no harmonies because Chuck Norris had the backup singers- for lunch Chuck Norris is the one who made George Harrison's guitar weep. Chuck Norris broke up the Beatles- with his bare hands. Chuck Norris can (kick your ass) Chuck Norris can (with knuckles of brass) Chuck Norris can (beat you down) Chuck Norris can (win the Triple Crown) Science was blinded by Chuck Norris. Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin both died of Chuck Norris Chuck Norris once conducted an orchestra with his bicep. Chuck Norris was a bouncer at the Hotel California Chuck Norris can (make you cry) Chuck Norris can (make you wanna die) Chuck Norris can (with his mind) Chuck Norris can (make you blind) Janie got a gun- it didn't help. If you play this song backwards, Chuck Norris will make you explode. Cee-Lo saw Chuck Norris drivin' round town with the girl he loved and he was all like "well, that's cool" Chuck Norris can (do as he will) Chuck Norris can (make you pay your bills) Chuck Norris can (turn on your mind) Chuck Norris can (make you eat a pork rind) Chuck Norris can (burn up your soul) Chuck Norris can (smoke a crater-sized bowl) Chuck Norris can (rule the world) Chuck Norris can (make your chest hair curl) Chuck Norris can (kick your ass) Chuck Norris can (with knuckles of brass) Chuck Norris can (beat you down) Chuck Norris can (win the Triple Crown)
28.
He was bold like a first responder He was powerful and he was brave He feared no danger Which led him right down to his grave Don’t worry that he’s AFK He’s paying attention inside And as we charge into battle he cries… Leeroy Jenkins First on the scene Leeroy Jenkins Epic powers unseen Just don’t call him premature It’s not his fault that you died ‘cause don’t we all have a little Leeroy Jenkins inside Before you hate on Leeroy Tell me this has never happened to you It’s late at night with a pretty girl and you know just what to do You’re both feeling cozy You started feeling funny And with that look in her face she sighed. She said… Leeroy Jenkins First on the scene Leeroy Jenkins Epic powers unseen Just don’t call him premature It’s not his fault that you died ‘cause don’t we all have a little Leeroy Jenkins inside Being a hero ain’t easy It isn’t like it looks on TV You can’t just sit there like Gandalf Summon eagles whenever you need It takes meticulous planning It takes endless grinding Being a hero is boring Could it be Being a hero is dull? But if you’re ever in trouble Who would you rather have by your side? Abdul with his dorky spreadsheets Or a paladin unafraid to die? Just don’t call him premature It’s not his fault that you died ‘cause don’t we all have a little Leeroy Jenkins inside A little Leeroy Jenkins inside Leeroy Jenkins inside
29.
Won't you buy a Winnebago from the Winnebago Man? Won't you buy a Winnebago from the Winnebago Man? Won't you buy a Winnebago from the Winnebago Man? Won't you buy a Winnebago from the Winnebago Man? But this *ing Minnie Winnie with the parts made in Japan. Oh you'll love the welcome wagon, so let's take a *ing ride Oh you'll love the welcome wagon, so let's take a *ing ride Oh you'll love the welcome wagon, so let's take a *ing ride I filled the *ing tank up, and I'm ridin' low and wide. 24 feet of luxury; flyin' dubya on the side Won't you buy a Winnebago from the Winnebago Man? Won't you buy a Winnebago from the Winnebago Man? Won't you buy a Winnebago from the Winnebago Man? Won't you buy a Winnebago from the Winnebago Man? Cuz it's got a *ing kitchen, 2 beds, and a *ing can. Self-contained, self-propelled, funhouse on *ing wheels, Self-contained, self-propelled, funhouse on *ing wheels, Self-contained, self-propelled, funhouse on *ing wheels, No man is *ing happy, stuck in a * hotel,, So sign your name right here, and let's make a *ing deal. Won't you buy a Winnebago from the Winnebago Man? Won't you buy a Winnebago from the Winnebago Man? Won't you buy a Winnebago from the Winnebago Man? Won't you buy a Winnebago from the Winnebago Man? But this *ing Minnie Winnie with the parts made in Japan. Repeat Chorus w/ variation.
30.
Every Morning I wake up peel the sleep back from my eyes and I stare into the screen and it's always a surprise It's been days, weeks, months and years yet it still brings me to tears Every time I look and see there's a rage face looking at me And with the time I've spent on the net I haven't found anything I hate as much yet I hate a meme as no man has ever done before this cookie cutter, stupid bullshit really is a bore I hate a meme and I really am in awe that this uninspired, worthless garbage really is adored Did you know that keyboard cat is now over 5 years old and I'm pretty sure that no one thought the Tron Guy was pure gold Nyan Cat always pissed me off but I'm told it's wrong to scoff And now I'm screaming on the floor because I can't take any more And with all the time I've spent on the net I haven't found anything I hate as much yet I hate a meme as no man has ever done before this cookie cutter, stupid bullshit really is a bore I hate a meme and I really am in awe this uninspired, worthless garbage really is adored Hate, Hate, Hate Hate A Meme (x4)
31.
Keyboard Cat and Ask a Ninja 
Philosoraptor made me snicka 
 
Advice Dog don't make no sense 
But Courage Wolf's a bit intense 
 
Joseph Ducreux speaks real fancy 
Tron Guy's just a cosplay nancy 
 
Sneezing Baby Panda's cute And Planking is a real hoot 
 
Epic Beard and Winnebago 
Whatever, man, don't tase me, bro! 
 
Randy Pausch gave his last lecture 
In some spacious architecture 
 
Leeroy Jenkins likes to fight 
And them Boom! Goes the dynamite 
 
He still can't take on Kimbo Slice Who’s Rage Guy comics come to life   Chorus: 
Life is a meme so the internet told me 
I surf all night till my eyeballs can’t see 
I see so much, nothing sticks completely 
Though my head’s full, I’m as dumb as a tree  
Chuck Norris is toughest of them all Though Afro Ninja can take a fall   2 Girls 1 cup will appeal to ya If you’re into corprophilia   Bert is Evil, don’t be fooled Miss South Carolina could use some school   Gem Sweater Lady’s fashion rules She’ll drop some science on you fools   Dramatic Chipmunk’s on alert For Disaster Girl, who wants you hurt   Socially Awkward Penguin moans That he is Forever Alone   Angry German Kid needs Ritalin One Red Paper Clip’s a win   Happy Tree Friends gross face splat Battle at Kruger’s more accurate   Chorus: 
Life is a meme so the internet told me 
I can’t keep up, I’m still stuck in last week 
I don’t make sense talking to my family 
Might as well give up and get a job in I.T.   Mark Mathis thinks he so wacky Just a nutjob, send him packing   Star Wars kid thinks he’s a Jedi Not so much, bud, oh, well, nice try   First World Problems should just bag it It’s Tourette’s guy now, O, Bob Saget!   Long Cat’s song is kinda weird Like TechnoViking’s crazy beard 
 
Where is Matt?  'Cause he can dance 
But Mosh Girl needs some longer pants 
 
Pedobear and Photobombing 
Just some memes that are alarming   Memes they come and go so fast And very few will ever last   Try to keep up if you dare I’ve got no brain cells left to spare  
  Chorus: 
Life is a meme so the internet told me 
It’s impacted me, so I go there boldy 
I though I was hip till the kids Rickrolled me 
At the end of my rainbow is a Nyan Kitty  (reference musically as well) 

about

This album is made up of songs from the "SpinTunes" songwriting competiton.

spintunes.blogspot.com

The challenge:
Ceiling Cat Is Watching You Songwrite - Write a song about a meme. (2 minute minimum) (they had 9 days)

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released January 29, 2013

Album art by Matt Schubbe.

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Spintown Middletown, Ohio

I used to run a songwriting contest called SpinTunes. Most of the material hosted on this account is a result of that contest. The rest is mostly Minecraft related songs.

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