SpinTunes #11: Round 2

by Various Artists

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about

Sorry Not Sorry - Write a song about your favorite guilty pleasure. (2 minute minimum length) (they had 8 days)

credits

released February 9, 2016

Album art by Matt Schubbe

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about

Spintown Middletown, Ohio

I run a songwriting contest called SpinTunes. Most of the material hosted on this account is a result of that contest. You can follow the contest on Twitter (@SpinTunes) or my personal account (@Spintown).

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Track Name: Jailhouse Payback - Watching "Lockdown"
Hotel room, small town bar
No room service just candy bars
No pay channels, TV's on
Hotel cable showing "Lockdown"

Spending hard time on the inside
From my queen size. . . .
Spending hard time on the inside
From behind my guilty eyes

Whiskey while I'm on death watch
Just Old Crow not blended scotch
It's a pleasure, a guilty one
Watching how I hope I don't end up

Spending hard time on the inside
From my queen size. . . .
Spending hard time on the inside
From behind my guilty eyes

Solitary for both of us
But I get choices so I'll skip the pushups!

Blood stained sheets just leave 'em be
Lock me in and swallow the key
No pay channels, TV's on
Hotel cable showing "Lockdown", showing "Lockdown"

Spending hard time on the inside
From my queen size. . . .
Spending hard time on the inside
From behind my guilty eyes
Track Name: Glen Raphael - Cadbury Shanty
I weighed too many pounds before I lost them
My diet has been very very great
It wasn't cutting carbs or fat or protein
My losses stem from something else I ate
It wasn't that my will was highly powered
I didn't lose to please a friend of mine
The secret of my health is told in hours
Of sad exposure limited in time. It was

Eggs! Cadbury! Sticky and sweet
No one has ever found better to eat
They are round, wrapped in silver foil
Some in this room, calling me down to my doom

I learned of them while sitting on my keister
A bunny rabbit crossed my tv screen
To say you'd only find these orbs 'til Easter
And then they never would again be seen
So now I knew my risk had boundary limits
Now I knew that risk had limit bounds
If dieting is hell then I was in it
To dream and then awaken to the sounds, of

Eggs! Cadbury! Sticky and sweet!
No one has ever found better to eat
They are round, wrapped in silver foil
Some in this room, calling me down to my doom

I flirted with disaster through the season
Then held my breath awaiting each return
That tiny Easter window was the reason
That I could eat so freely and not learn
That some things good in small amounts are poison
If then consumed a dozen times or more
For few can turn to many then to hundreds
And that is why my pancreas is sore, of

Eggs! Cadbury! Sticky and sweet
No one has ever found better to eat
They are round, wrapped in silver foil
Now sold in green, as a treat for Halloween

Just once a year was something I could handle
A sweet and special modicum of sin
But more exposure sent me through the bramble
That second window was what did me in
Though truthfully by then it didn't matter
Mere retail's not the only source of harm
Just sitting in my room I can get fatter
For there are eggs on Amazon dot com: bulk

Eggs! Cadbury! Sticky and sweet
No one has ever found better to eat
They are round, wrapped in silver foil
Some in this room, calling us down to our doom

To lose that weight I had to kick the habit
Of eating any food that I could find
I cursed the day I saw that evil rabbit
But in the end I repossessed my mind
To summon all the will that I could muster
I finally beat those eggs and whipped them well
If you would like to follow my example
I have a single message left to tell: avoid

Eggs! Cadbury! Sticky and sweet
No one has ever found better to eat
They are round, wrapped in silver foil
Some in this room, calling us down to our doom
Track Name: Megalodon - Exact Change
It piles on the desk
Collects in every crevice
It makes an awful mess
I just cannot live like this
But I can win
Three quarters a dime two nickels and four cents
This perfect ten
Will match any decimal. Have patience.

I'm sorry but when exactly did it become a crime
To pay with exact change when others are in line

Is it too much to take?
My predilection in stride
It isn't fair to make
Your value system into mine
It's just like you
To hold out your hand then curl it in a fist
You know it's true
Get off my back and listen to this

I'm sorry but when exactly did it become a crime
To pay with exact change when others are in line

1,2,3,25, 50, 60, 65, 70...
$3.71 exactly

The crosses on my back
may bore a hole straight through me
but if I don't react
you'll know that I'm not sorry

I'm sorry but when exactly did it become a crime
To pay with exact change when others are in line
I'm sorry but when exactly did it become a crime
To pay with exact change when others are in line
Track Name: Governing Dynamics - Ireland Delay
First heard them in a city of angels
In the middle of a nameless street
An echo through the alleys and underground
Somebody said “Just take a seat:

“Their best years are already behind them
And the best weren’t really all that good
So stop taking joy from garbage
Just like any man of taste would”

It isn’t cool to like U2
I’m not sure that it ever was
It isn’t cool to like U2
But someone you know probably does

Something ‘bout love and pride
Something ‘bout the IRA
Something ‘bout a bloody Sunday
Followed by a beautiful day

The critics flourish mighty pens
The public’s gonna have their say
They don’t wanna pay anymore
But they complain if you give it away

It isn’t cool to like U2
I’m not sure that it ever was
It isn’t cool to like U2
But someone you know probably does
It isn’t cool to like U2
But I still crank it anyway
I still feel my blood running hotter
When I hear that Ireland delay

I rarely sing this praise outside my car
Or over the hum of my earbuds
“I don’t care what people think”
So everyone says,
but everyone does.
Or, it would seem so.
So it would seem
We never would dream so
But here we all are, so..

It isn’t cool to like U2
I’m not sure that it ever was
It isn’t cool to like U2
But someone you know probably does
It isn’t cool to like U2
But I still crank it anyway
I still feel my blood running hotter
When I hear that Ireland delay
Track Name: Mark Humble - Secret Desire
I am the king pin now
Cops and criminals give me no rest

Heavy is my crown
I take challengers to the death

The number one outlaw I have what it takes
But once in a while I need a break

Secret desire
Secret desire
No one knows my secret desire
Oh little precious so furry and fat
Secret desire
Internet cats

My troubles disappear
When taco tongue Tuesday rolls around

I’d lose respect and fear
If they found out I text Colonel Meow

The hardcore king blows off steam
Reading the I Can Haz Cheezburger Memes

Secret desire
Secret desire
No one knows my secret desire
Oh little precious so furry and fat
Secret desire
Internet cats

He’s playing piano like a person! Look!
Ah ha ha ha ha ha

Secret desire
Secret desire
No one can know my secret desire
Oh little precious so furry and fat
my secret desire
Internet cats
Track Name: Jon Eric - Candy Cigarette
You never call me when you're sober
You say we're over
Although I've missed you
So even though it's just a sex thing
When you're texting
I can't resist you

Well, I shouldn't settle for whatever I can get
But you're like a candy cigarette

You're so sweet, you make my mouth water
You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch
You're so sweet, you melt in the shower
You're so sugar, you're so rich

I eat whatever junk's in reach, things
like gummy peach rings
or even pork rinds
I sent a message to you tonight
I'm hoping you might
be in the wrong mind

And I should never stoop to begging for your scraps
But you're like a creme-filled game of craps

You're so sweet, you make my mouth water
You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch
You're so sweet, you melt in the shower
You're so sugar, you're so rich

You're so sweet, you make my mouth water
You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch
You're so sweet, you melt in the shower
You're so sugar, you're so rich

We know our bitter selves
So let's not kid ourselves
At least not any longer than it takes to binge and purge
In this metaphor
I'm not some kind of petit four
That you can reach for anytime you can't resist the urge

It's all self-loathing with a heaping side of scorn
You're like cookie-dough-core porn

You're so sweet, you make my mouth water
You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch
You're so sweet, you melt in the shower
You're so sugar, you're so rich

You're so sweet, you make my mouth water
You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch
You're so sweet, you melt in the shower
You're so sugar, you're so rich

You're so sweet, you make my mouth water
You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch
You're so sweet, you melt in the shower
You're so sugar, you're so rich

You're so sweet, you make my mouth water
You're so sweet, you make my tongue itch
You're so sweet, you melt in the shower
You're so sugar, you're so rich
Track Name: Edric Haleen - My Dear Wife
Oh!!
What I’d have done!
What I’d have made!
What I could have written,
Or studied, or learned
If I hadn’t been swayed!
What I could have achieved
With the time that I had
If I never had played!!

My dear wife,
In her hunger to share
All the things in her life
Of which I ought to care,
Went and all but insisted
That I try out this game . . .

And now, after
Twenty-one hundred
And fifty-five levels,
And Heaven knows how many
Weeks of my life,
After racking up boosters
And knocking off levels
While lying there,
Sharing a bed with my wife
With the both of us glued
To our mobile devices,
It’s clear to me now
What the terrible price is,
‘Cause after all this,
I can look at my dear wife and say . . .

There’ll prob’ly be
Fifteen new levels next week . . .

And there’s no sign this ever will end . . .

(And I’m not sure I’d want it to anyway . . .)
Track Name: Ominous Ride - Cheap Wine
I'd like to make a brief confession
I have a problem with the drink
The issue's not intoxication
(Rather it's an) economical libation

It isn't that I can't afford my vices
I live in high society
My friends wonder why I drink in private
If they find out what I'm drinking
They'll ask me what the hell I'm thinking
Cheap Wine

I don't have a taste for bourbon
And I stay away from in gin
I don't need a fancy Cabernet
Or a twenty dollar Zin
Drinking behind closed doors
A penchant I can't ignore

I might impress them with Armani suits
Or when I flash my gold Movado
And they may swoon over my Gucci shoes
And I might drive a Mercedes
But what I drink won't get the ladies
Cheap wine

I don't like to mix martinis
I don't need to salt my rim
Hold on to your Dom Perignon
I'm drinking Andre on my own
Drinking behind closed doors
Just twist off the cap and pour

Might not be sophisticated
Might not show a pedigree
Might not have a fancy label
But I buy it by the case
Because it tastes alright to me
Cheap wine

You might wonder why a man like me
Has such a lousy palette
But with all the flack that I receive
I wish they didn't sell it

Riuniti
Charles Shaw
Sutter Home
And Franzia
Rex Goliath
Smoking Loon
Got the Barefoot
and the Boone's
Carlo Rossi
Yellowtail
A jug of Gallo
Never fails
Call me crude, or unrefined
Staying loyal to my cheap cheap wine
Track Name: Ross Durand - Uh Oh!
I’m getting older but I like to feel young sometimes
Remember all the little things that used to be fun sometimes
The games I used to play, ice cream was a treat
TV shows, action figures, and the things I loved to eat

Uh Oh!
I still love my Spaghettios

I used to have to know how to open a can, now it comes with a pop-top tab
That 8 inch sauce pan, was the best friend I ever had
You gotta cook for just the right time, the heat’s gotta be just so
Stir it with a wooden spoon, till the bubbles round the edges start to show

Uh Oh!
I still love my Spaghettios

People try to tell me to act my age.
“Don’t you know that you are what you eat?”
I guess I’m a little bit loopy, a little bit hot,
And little be cheesy, and a little bit sweet

Uh Oh!

Yeah I’m gettin older and I like to feel young sometimes
But that ain’t really it they just feel good in my tum sometimes
So I’m gonna eat what I like, I don’t care what people say
When the face on the can smiles at me, it kinda makes my day

Uh oh!
I still love my Spaghettios
Track Name: James Young - Love (Actually)
Love Actually is a film I've seen a lot
I know it isn't perfect but it somehow hits the spot
If you're looking for a Christmas film it's either that, Die Hard or Elf
But I would always choose Love Actually myself.

Bilbo Baggins gets naked with a girl and they fake it but then they fall in love
Rick Grimes stalks Keira Knightly, although rather politely, but she still loves the guy from 12 Years A Slave

Love actually is a film I even own
I know it's far from perfect but it gets me in the zone
If you cannot find a copy you can borrow my blu-ray
But don't think for a minute that I'm giving it away

Hans Gruber flirts with his PA and upsets his lady: that's really not cool, Hans
Skinny guy flys to Wisconsin where all the girls want him cos he's got a cute British accent
Qui-Gon Jin cries cos his wife has died but then to his surprise he finds Claudia Schiffer by his side
BIlly Bob Thornton kisses Hugh Grants tea lady and that makes him crazy and so he fires her but then changes his mind

Love actually is a film I've seen a lot
I know it isn't perfect but it somehow hits the spot
If you're looking for a Christmas film it's either that, Die Hard or Elf
But I would always choose Love Actually myself.
Track Name: "BucketHat" Bobby - Ode To Internet Explorer
Sometimes I long for days long gone, when I was younger.
Outdated methods and nostalgia, for these I hunger.
Staying up late,
refreshing all night.
Trying to update
my Piczo site.

And I'll admit, I'ts a bit masochistic,
and my friends look on in horror
when I choose to use Internet Explorer.

Sometimes I find it won't work all the time, but I still use it.
I'll empty the cache, but still it will crash, and so I lose it.
It might be slow,
It may not be Chrome,
but that bluish glow
makes me feel at home.

You say it's te worst, but it was my first, and your words don't hurt.
No, I won't be getting sorer,
'Cause I choose to use Internet Explorer.

Sometimes it will freeze, I'll fall to my knees, and give up for a while.
but before the week ends, I'll be back there again, I'll be back with a smile.
It may not be fast,
It might not be stable,
Not supported on Macs,
But if you're willing, it's able.

Haters gonna hate, but one more update might just make it great
but it's probably too late, so we'll just have to wait to see the true fate
of Internet Explorer.

And I'll admit, I'ts a bit masochistic,
and my friends look on in horror
when I choose to use Internet Explorer.
Track Name: Rob From Amersfoort - Girls In Leggings
in the bus
or in the train
at the shopping malls
driving me insane

the fashion police
won’t be pleased
but I am begging
for girls with leggings

girls in leggings
black and tight
girls in leggings
I can watch all night

feel so smooth
catches my eye
girls with leggings
make me high

I need girls in leggings
girls in leggings rule my world

in the park
in the gym
girls in leggings
look so slim

who can resist
those beautiful legs
girls in leggings
make me beg

I need girls in leggings
girls in leggings rule my world

girls in leggings
black and tight
girls in leggings
I can watch all night

when will they return
into fashion
the 80s
were a delight
Track Name: Pigfarmer Jr - I Like p0rn
Another hard day at school
I just want to get back home
Turn on the screen and sit
In front of it all alone
Gonna hit a brand new search
Gonna see what I can find
Lose myself in all the pictures
Drink some beer or maybe wine

'Cause I like p0rn
And I like beer
I like to drink and look at girls
From the front and the rear
Yeah, I like p0rn
And I like wine
It's my favorite way
Of spending my time
'Cause I like p0rn
Yeah, I like p0rn

Oh, shit I hear a knock
Who could be at my door?
Oh! Hello, Mother dearest
I didn't mean to stomp the floor
What? No, don't look at that
Let me turn off all the screens
I was just doing homework
Oh, it's kind of 'bout a dream

'Cause I like p0rn
And I like beer
I like to drin kand look at girls
From the front and the rear
Yeah, I like p0rn
And I like wine
It's my favorite way
Of spending my time
'Cause I like p0rn
Yeah, I like p0rn
Track Name: Adam Sakellarides - Guilty Pleasure
Others
will make the claims
And you will judge
You cut
to the point
Through muck and sludge

You’re the one in charge
Could we have a side bar?

You have
Harsher words
They cut like swords
They will
make small claims
And you’ll award

If I called you "heaven-sent"
Would you hold me in contempt (please)?

You’re my guilty pleasure
Oh, Judge Judy, oh, in the studio
You’re my guilty pleasure
Oh, Judge Judy, oh, I love you so

You walk
in every day
So beautifully
I give
you everything
So dutifully

But between us there’s a rift
‘Cause I am your bailiff (of love)

You’re my guilty pleasure
Oh, Judge Judy, oh, in the studio
You’re my guilty pleasure
Oh, Judge Judy, oh, I love you so

I say
"I love you"
I take the risk
You say
You love me too
A moment’s bliss

But my friends think I’m lying—
I should have got it in writing!

You’re my guilty pleasure
Oh, Judge Judy, oh, in the studio
You’re my guilty pleasure
Oh, Judge Judy, oh, I love you so
You’re my guilty pleasure
Oh, Judge Judy, oh, in the studio
You’re my guilty pleasure
Oh, Judge Judy, oh, I love you
Track Name: Ellie Sparrow - Bathe In Media
Got relaxing on my mind
Bath calling me all night
Run the Tap, Grab the Soap
Take a Breath

Phone Buzzing everywhere
Trying to turn off and not care
But it's that niggle that never stops
Better check

Can't Switch off, never do
So it's time to combine the two
Through a screen no one can see
What I'm wearing when it's just me

Don't expect me to change
If want me to reply
I'm fairly comfortable
And I won't deninie

Can't Switch off, never do
So it's time combine the two
Through a screen no one can see
What I'm wearing when it's just me

Checking my messages in the bath is fairly normal
Time is money wherever you go
So when you send those messages
Just remember, I could be naked

Can't switch off, never do
So it's time to combine the two
Through a screen no one can see
What I'm wearing when it's just me

Can't switch off, never do
So it's time to combine the two
Through a screen no one can see
What I'm doing when it's just me

I won't feel guilty for something I enjoy
I won't feel guilty for something I enjoy
And if you want me too
Yes, if you want me too

Switch off.
Track Name: Emperor Gum - Electricity
Close every curtain and switch on every light
I can’t bear the glare as I stare
At the screen that separates me from the failing world outside
Now my street is underwater, I see watch it on TV

The ice caps melt on my giant LCD
Which I ignore to check my phone
To message friends who live half a mile away
So I never have to go outside

This is the blood of my age
The IV plugs in every wall
Our society’s in thrall
To this cannibal’s hunger
To burn our world for fuel
So we can feel pleasure
Pleasure

My computer hums as it rocks me to sleep
Its LEDs my night light now I’m grown
This modern lullaby is the only way I’ll rest
With the guilt of what it costs in mind

I always planned one day that I would have a child
Give them a better life that what I’ve known
But the Earth is suffocating from the modern life we lead
They’ll be nothing left to leave them when they’re grown

This is the blood of my age
The IV plugs in every wall
Our society’s in thrall
To this cannibal’s hunger
To burn our world for fuel
So we can feel pleasure
Pleasure
Track Name: Brian Gray - Building An Orc Army (Shadow)
Hey Gríma!
Got your message on TweetBook, suggesting that we hook up, ingest of a sweet Took toke
And paint this quaintness the color of nonesuch.
Cool schema!
I been thinking of late, on the brink of my fate, Imma sink from the weight, unless I
Shake that ache that’s makin’ me work so much.
A wizard could get overwrought.
I need a good excuse for this recluse to cut loose, but

Not tonight. I can’t go out; I’m building an orc army
To fight the men, elves, dwarves, and Dunharrow zombies.
We might just have time to order in pastrami,
All right? ‘Cause I’m building an orc, building an orc <<army>>.

Let’s do this!
Shins connected to knee bones, consecutively cloned. I reckon that we goin’ dethrone
Theoden for a shot at your own tribe
The shoe fits!
Put the “win” in Eowyn, start off with a slow gin, move onto some dancing and sing
At the Prancing Caballo and imbibe
Some Escondito Balrog beers,
And queso, Fritos, frijoles, ceviche, carnitas.

Here’s the sitch: I can’t go out; I’m building an orc army
In which they’ll be all geared up in dope Abercrombie
And Fitch. All the good guys gonna run home to mommy
And bitch that I’m building an orc, building an orc <<army>>.

Here’s Rohan’s smallest violin
Accompanying the choir cry of my Uruk-Hai

Within the mud. I can’t go out; I’m building an orc army
To flood the Hornburg with my goblin tsunami
And blood. Postpone that game of hide the salami
You stud, due to building an orc, building an orc <<army>>.